How did Caesar conquer England? You might say. Well it first consisted of Caesar sailing to England with a few ships, landing Sticking a flag in the ground and saying “vendi vidi vici” (I came, I saw, I conquered).Which didn't really help because The Celts just scared them off. So After Caesar died ( he was murdered) The next emperor decided to take an army with him (smart) and try to conquer the Celts buy reasoning with them, and if that didn't work they had a battle. The only other problem was that the physco picts (the Scottish) started to invade as well. So the Romans had to think of an idea that would stop these maniacs coming out of Scotland, and Hadrian's wall was built!! After more years of fighting the Romans eventually won and conquered England.
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayyy...so well on first glance it looks like you aren't trying to detail something of an alternate history here so naturally this then becomes something that needs to have a little bit more care put into it. In that case though, I think you have fallen short a little bit here, because especially on the first impression here this is a bit of a jumble here and I don't think you manage to get things completely accurate not to mention the sort of tone you're delivering this in is an odd mix of formal and informal and when you don't stick to one particular path the result like what we have here is a bit of confusion.
I think the idea you're working with is solid but a bit more work needs to go into learning a little more and especially you need to decide if this is going to be something more on the lines of humorous or if perhaps you'd rather make it more informative and serious than what we have here. On the whole, there's quite a chunk of work that needs to be done over here but the base here does seem to be there in terms of the idea.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
You mean veni, not vendi. The actual translation for what you wrote would be, "I sold, I saw, I conquered."
As Jack already pointed out, you need to research this more. Just a few things...
Caesar never conquered Britain. He tried to, but failed. It took almost another 100 years for the Romans to return and conquer what is England & Wales today. Hadrian's wall wasn't even built until the 2nd century AD.
Also, Caesar was never Emperor.
If you venture into this area, be very careful.
This isn't historical fiction; It's more like a summary of a chapter in a textbook. Ways to reword thing are in bold.
You don't need this sentence.
It should be landing and sticking a flag in the ground
the Celts & you should think about rewording the begining of this sentence.
Unfortunately the current Caesar was murdered. The next emperor decided to take an army with him. He wanted to conquer the Celts by reasoning with them. However, since that didn't work they fought a battle with each other.
You need to leave out things like the (smart) because it sounds rude.
That is a rude term.
There was another problem. The Picts, known today as the Scottish, started to invade as well. The Romans had to think of an idea that would stop that strong army from coming out of Scotland. The answer: Hadrian's wall!
A lot of times you say things that are rude and stereotypical, such as: & You have to find a way of expressing your thoughts and views without hurting peoples feelings and pride.
No problemo. If you want some tips on ever writing Historical Fiction, just PM me (although I wouldn't consider myself that good or anything.)
sorry, im mostly a fantasy fiction guy, sorry again.
This isn't actually Historical Fiction, for a start. It's just some fact (and actually not very accurate). The Celts didn't scare them off the first time, it was mostly logistics problems and the first visit was a recon at the most anyway to understand the natives and see the way of the land.
You need some more accuracy, and some actual fiction involved. This is nothing more than a poor summary of years of history which anybody could do.